Please watch Kodaline’s “All I Want” music video.

It’s a beautifully engaging narrative about the feeling of loneliness. Kind of perfect for this time of social isolation. You might have already seen the video. It came out in 2012 and has 150 million views on Youtube. But it’s okay if you haven’t, music doesn’t expire.

The story opens in a quiet office setting. A wide shot of a woman copying documents. A man walks across to the second photocopier, his back to us. He’s in a grey suit that hangs a little loose on his frame, not the perfect fit. The woman turns and screams… then the music begins to play and we see the man’s face. Her scream turns into an awkward laugh to lighten the mood and brushes it off as just being startled. He gives a little smile, but the smile doesn’t hold. He looks embarrassed and hurt. Her scream was definitely more than a startle…

I onced showed the music video to my little brother, he was nine at the time.
“Look, he’s a monster and everyone treats him like one.”
“Is he a monster or does he have a condition?”

I was struck by his question. “Maybe he does have a condition…”

I assumed the protagonist was meant to play a monster, that this was some type of satire. I hadn’t considered he was human and disfigured.

I read articles and reviews and blogs to find the meaning behind the music video. My findings were inconclusive. Some people described him as a monster, others called it a disfigurement.

The ambiguity only strengthens the video’s narrative. It doesn’t matter if he is actually human or literally a monster. What matters is his treatment as such.

Thanks to a nine year old boy, I became convicted of my own treatment of the protagonist. I hadn’t realized how I pitied him throughout the music video. How sorry I felt for him. But he doesn’t need my sympathy.

I pitied him because I concentrated too much on his condition instead of his character. He tried to be friendly despite people’s unfriendliness. He didn’t grow cold and hardened by his ill treatment. He didn’t engage violently when he was harassed, but he did act when a woman was mistreated. And look at the way he treats his dog. What a great guy.

He doesn’t need people to continually remind him what’s wrong with him. He needs people to see all the things that are good about him too. Not pity him for what we think he lacks, but celebrate him for the qualities he has.

Same goes for anyone. We want to be seen as more than our external conditions. I don’t think those things should be ignored, but they don’t have to be at the forefront of a person’s identity. Those things should be acknowledged, but not overshadow other defining traits of a person. That’s mostly all I want, to be seen as a whole, not in parts and definitely not just my bad parts.

This music video is about loneliness. I don’t know what’s more lonely than being seen, but not really being seen.

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I’ve been trying to write, starting but never finishing. So I looked through my archive of partly written posts and found this mostly complete piece that just needed a little editing, just needed a little effort from me. I don’t know what’s the cause for my stall, but I’m trying. I think the piece could be better, but it’s good enough to post. And sometimes good enough is enough.