I went to my first BSF class this week. Bible Study Fellowship is a weekly non-denominational bible study. Groups around the world meet, going through the same lesson plan in the bible, chapter by chapter, verse by verse.
I walked in alone, not knowing anybody. Just wanting to study the bible in community. A couple of other people were also new. A nature enthusiast who moved from Georgia in June. A Toronto native who moved out here only 3 weeks ago, not knowing anyone in the city. And me. I moved out here a few months ago and sure I have friends in the city, but not a deep, consistent community.
It’s a young adults class of about 30 people, broken into smaller discussion groups. For consistency and intimacy, we keep the same group for the rest of the study. But for our first meeting, we all came together for an introduction and overview of BSF and the lesson plan.
Towards the end, one of the leaders introduced an activity to help us begin the process of forming community. We went around and said one Ask and one Give. What is one thing we want to Ask of the group, such as asking for a camping buddy. What is one thing we can Give to the group, such as a ride because having a car in the city is a superpower.
It was tough for me internally, to ask and to offer something to a group of strangers I only met an hour ago.
It’s especially hard for me to ask for something, it places me in a very vulnerable position. To ask is to make it known that I am in need, I am lacking, I desire help. And to ask is to put others in a position of power. It’s all in their hands. If they have what I ask for, will they give it or leave me empty handed?
It’s easier for me to give than to ask. It’s easier to feel needed, than to feel needy. To feel like I have something to offer, than to come in with empty hands. I need to present something worthy in place of me, to prove my worth.
But I don’t want someone to reach for what I have on display in my hands, to reach only for what I could give. I want to come in with empty hands, to find the person reach for me, just me, and take my hand. Because I’m not holding anything else.
But to get there, I have to ask. I have to place myself in that vulnerable position and risk their response.
So I asked.
At BSF I asked for a rock-climbing buddy, just someone willing to check out some of the rock gyms in the city with me. I had an internal battle about asking aloud. Rock-climbing is very vulnerable for me, to have someone take the time to hold my line, and if I can’t physically finish the route, if I choose to give up with fear of judgement, I’m placed in the humble position of asking them to help lower me safely down.
But I asked because I knew that’s what I needed.
And not always, but this time, people responded.
Check more about Bible Study Fellowship at https://bsfinternational.org.
Mmmm, girl this one, like all the rest, is so good! BUT this one I felt deep in my soul. You’re great!
You’re definitely a giver, so I already know how deep this goes for you! Please know, if you ask and I’m able, I won’t leave you empty handed.
Good job stepping out in courage! Let me know how the rock climbing buddy goes :)! Well-written, and I may steal the one ASK, one GIVE approach for our small group back home
Please steal this activity for your small group! The leader took notes of the Asks and Gives and sent an email out to keep people accountable for what their asking for and offering. When she sent out the email it re-convicted me!
Love this. I’m also curious what you offered to give?
I offered a cup of coffee if anyone wanted to have some one:one time, like how I offered you a cup in Romania once (;
I really like this!! You are always so giving and I know that it’s difficult for you to ask, but reading this is beautiful because we see more of your vulnerability and heart!